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A Gentle Answer
I didn’t want to offer a gentle answer. As a matter of
fact, I had a clever comment on the tip of my tongue that would have
antagonized my angry accuser, but I chose not to say it.
The incident happened this morning on the basketball court. Although
I consider myself to be a loving and gentle guy that is a pleasure
to be around (in my mind, I am a lovely guy, lol),  there are those
that do not care for my fun comments that often sound sarcastic. One
guy in particular doesn’t like me at all. But, truthfully
he doesn’t like anyone.
I don’t even remember why he got upset at me this morning, but
it doesn’t matter. Why it escalated is unimportant; I want
to point out how my response took what could have turned into a messy
situation and defused it.
He got in my face. He challenged me. But, I didn’t
allow myself to get sucked in.
There was a part of me that wanted to get into it with him. We
aren’t exactly on friendly terms. But, because peace was
more important than vindication or revenge, I remained calm, let him
speak his mind and walked away.
Some might challenge my manhood. Some think that if you don’t
strike back, you have no backbone. But, I believe something different. I
believe that there are very few things in the world worth fighting
for. And, dignity on the basketball court isn’t one of
them.
Ok…so, why are we talking about this? Since, I didn’t
have my emotional needs met on the basketball court, am I looking for
applause and affirmation from someone who might read this?
No…that is not the reason behind my transparency.
I am writing this because I know that there are many people
in life who deal with  volatile relationships all of the
time. There are students who can’t get along with parents. There
are folks who have enemies at work or at school. Maybe some
that are in a marriage where the love seems to be hidden behind a
dark cloud of strained communication.
If you are in one of those situations…should I say, when you
find yourself in a volatile relationship (we all do from time to time),
I want to remind you what the Bible says. Check this out:
“Make every effort to live in peace with
all men and to be holy”. Hebrews 12:14
Did you catch that? That is some strong language. Make EVERY
EFFORT to live in peace with ALL men.
“A Gentle Answer turns away wrath, but
a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs
15:1
If like me, your goal is to align your life with the Bible and live
according to God’s principles, then you need to do all you can
to live in peace with everyone. One of the best ways to do this
it to develop the art of the gentle answer.
Now, I realize it is not easy. There are times when I forget
to bite my tongue. I point out why I am right, others are wrong,
and why they should be like me. I know that sounds arrogant,
but whenever anyone gets into an argument, it is based around the fact
they think they are right. Sounds selfish and conceited, but
the only reason it sounds strange to hear is because we never say it
out loud.
Offering a gentle answer, when a harsh word is much easier to come
by is very difficult, but it helps to achieve the overarching goal
of promoting peace.
Next time you are tempted to blow up at someone, or you are confronted
by someone who is raising their voice at you, remember these principles
from scripture. Take a deep breath; nibble on your tongue, and
pray, asking God for a gentle word to say, and then respond.
If you do, you will see the results in your
home, in your marriage, or even with your enemies. It works. Give
it a try.
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