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My Pastor always gets me into trouble.
I don’t know how you learn about yourself, but
I usually discover my tendencies by making
mistakes. Last week "IT" happened again...
My actions hadn’t been evil…but they hadn’t been
upright either. I wanted to rationalize them, but knew that
I shouldn’t.
After making an appearance on a television show that is shot in
the South Bend, Indiana, my pastor (who was traveling with me) and
I received a tour of the station. One of the studios was dedicated
to the athletic department at the University of Notre Dame.
Because Doug is a sports fan and always looking
for that, “that’s cool because I have never
done that before” moment, he asked if we could
get our picture taken at the sports desk where they do all of the
post game shows for the University.
When the person giving the tour seemed uncertain about us getting
behind the desk, he said no.
Several minutes later after the tour was
over, Doug said, “Man, I really wish we could have gotten
that picture. That would have been awesome.”
Wanting my pastor to leave happy (honestly, there was not an ounce
of selfish motive in this…well, ok, maybe an ounce), I decided
to ask someone in the production studio hoping to receive a different
answer than the one we had already received.
Upon asking to get a picture in the ND studio,
the guys obliged, going to the point of even turning on the lights
so the picture would turn out better.
It didn’t’ take very long, maybe two minutes, but as
we were leaving the studio, the original tour giver saw us. It
was obvious he was angry as he looked at Doug and said, “Did
you go behind my back?”
Quickly Doug replied, “I didn’t”.
I confessed. With no remorse in my tone at all, I said, “I
did. They said it wouldn’t be a problem”.
With that, our tour guide shot me the dirtiest
of looks and walked away frustrated.
In that moment, I laughed, but as soon as I got in the car, I felt
convicted. I knew that I had disrespected that man’s
authority and manipulated the circumstances until it allowed me an
opportunity to do what I wanted.
I know it might not sound like much, but I was completely aware
of the way that I have responded to God’s authority in the
same way. Like those times that I have disobeyed because I
didn’t think that his commands were reasonable or all that
important in the moment.
Instead of justifying my actions, which was a temptation, in the
car that day I decided to do the right thing. I determined to apologize
to the man who gave us the tour and ask his forgiveness.
As I wrote the email I fought the clear urge to use the word “but”. “I
am sorry for what  I did, but you were being unreasonable” would
not have been an apology. Neither would, “I am
sorry for going behind your back, but I didn’t think it was
that big of a deal.” Instead I chose to keep it
clean. “I am sorry. I was wrong. Please
forgive me.”
That apology was accepted…just as it is with God. Whenever
God speaks to our heart and we know that we have stepped outside
of His arc of covering, we need to be willing to say, “I
am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me.”
No “buts”. No justification. No
comparison of our minor sins to someone else’s major ones. Just, “I
am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me.”
That is the statement that God easily forgives. And, that is
the one He is looking for.
So, next time you sense the conviction of
the Holy Spirit upon your heart, don’t argue. Don’t
debate. Simply ask for forgiveness and know that it is granted.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will
forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” I
John 1:9
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