Alone, you sit in your room. No one else can see you; the door is shut. The desk lamp that pushes light across your room is on, illuminating every corner. Sitting at the desk with your face buried in your hands, you fight to believe. Struggling to trust, to hope, to hold onto what you have heard and want so desperately to believe, you force out a prayer:
“God, you know I love You. You know I want nothing more than to live for You. I have tried to surrender everything to You, but sometimes, I care more about looking good than living right.” In a moment of total honesty with yourself and with God, you continue. “God, I feel like a failure. I have so many opportunities to be a witness for You, and I fail. I feel condemned. I feel worthless. Will I ever be able to get this right?”
Fighting back the anguish, you end your prayer. Heart still heavy and eyes weighted down, you walk over to the bed and flop down. Reaching to the table next to you, you grab your Bible. It is obvious that it has not been neglected. The cover is worn and mangled; the pages, abused. Inside, there are things written in the margins--little notes that have given you courage and strength over the years. Yellow blocks highlight many Scriptures that had become near to your heart. It is obvious to anyone who might see this Bible that it has not been left on the shelf. You have spent hours reading it; digesting it. God had spoken things to you many times as you have faithfully read through its pages.
However, tonight you face new struggles and insecurities. Yesterday’s encouragement is not good enough. Something fresh has to come out of these pages.
Searching for hope, you open the cover.
For some reason, you allow the pages to flip to the middle of the New Testament. They come to rest on Philippians, and your eyes stop on a yellow block in Chapter Four.
“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” (Phil. 4:13)
You have read this many times before, but something makes you read it again.
Maybe it is the fact that you want to laugh in disgust and declare that this proclamation is not meant for you.
Possibly, it is because in the midst of recognizing your weaknesses, you want to believe that this verse can be true--God CAN still use you.
As courage begins to simmer in your heart, you sense God’s whispers, “My plan for you is still very exciting, and I can’t wait to help you accomplish what I created you for. You are not destined to fail, you were crafted to succeed. I am offering you strength for the future, not a rebuke for the past.”
You sense renewed hope and strength returning. God has not left you and He has not forsaken you. After a few minutes in silent prayer, you fall asleep knowing that tomorrow is a new day.
I Have A Question Would You Pray With Me? |
