The Day That Changed My Life
"I WANT THE CROSS!"
I can still remember the emotion surrounding that evening. The excitement
and anticipation leading up to that moment had been building for two days.
Finally in a dramatic moment, I stood and shouted along with several hundred
teenagers, "I WANT THE CROSS!"
Reality Check
It didn't take long. In just over twenty-four hours we were on the way back
home. Our group had settled into the bus, and most of them were sleeping. A
few were listening to music on their headphones, some were talking in the
back, but I was not participating in any of the merriment. I had chosen my
seat, and I was sitting alone, roaming through the memories of the
convention.
A little more than a day had passed and I was already beginning to question
what had taken place that last service. It wasn't that I was beginning to
doubt God, and what He had done or said, I was soul-searching, wondering if
I could ever live up to the commitments I had made.
This weekend was not the first time that I had encountered the Lord speaking
to me. Nor was it the first time that I had emotionally responded to Him.
Many times in my teenage years, I had come to an altar to declare boldly
before God, myself, and my friends that I was going to be different. It
seemed like at every camp, youth rally, and convention that I had ever been
to, I had surrendered to the tug in my heart. The only problem was my past
had proven to me that I had not been able to live up to my promises.
As I sat on the bus, with forty people who were my friends around me, I was
alone. I hadn't even gotten back home yet, but I was already declaring
myself defeated. "I will never be able to be who I want to be, and walk
with
God boldly like I want." I sat there in the silent bus, convincing myself
that I would never be able to overcome my weaknesses.
Although my pity party seemed to last for hours, I now realize that it
was
pretty short lived. Within twenty or thirty minutes, something crashed my
party. I could say that it was God, but to be totally honest, I am not sure
that it was. It might have been my self-confidence returning, or logic that
had escaped me, but something began to change in my heart that day.
Sitting there on the vinyl seat of an old beat up bus, a part of me came to
visit that I had not seen in awhile. My determination and my willingness to
fight for what I wanted began to show up. Courage to try again was entering
my body and consuming my thoughts. Slowly at first, then with the urgency
and power of a raging river. I began to quietly give myself a pep talk, and
with each passing moment, I was growing more convinced that I could make it.
I had to make it. I wasn't willing to settle for anything less this time.
What A Day.
That day, that very hour, my life changed. I will never be certain what
took
place in my heart, all I know is my burning desire to overcome my own doubt
pushed me into a place where I have never fallen away from God. That is not
to say that I have always felt as "on fire" for God as I did in that
youth
service, but in that moment, I embraced the Lord so tightly that I have
never allowed myself to slip away from him.
As you read my story, you may see some similarities with yourself. Many
people are just like I was back then. They are fed up with their past
failures, and they are frustrated that they can't live up to their
commitments. Their rollercoaster spiritual life is getting very tiring, and
they want some consistency.
The purpose of this book is to help you get where you want to be. The
principles that are laid out in these pages may seem basic at times, but
they are true. When taken and applied to your life, the disciplines that are
talked about will braid you together with the Lord in a way that will give
you strength, hope, courage, and most of all stability. My prayer for you is
that as you read through this book, you would apply each chapter to your
life. If you do, your journey with the Lord is about to become very
exciting.
This is taken from Sean's book, "I Want the Cross!" that has
helped
thousands find spiritual strength and stability in the midst of spiritual
questions and frustrations. You will find this and other of Sean's resources
available for purchase in the Groundwire Resource store.
|
